PeERinG DoWn THe RaBBit HOle wITh GrACe SLick WhIte rAbbIT Day 3 Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit (Woodstock 1969) November 20, 2009

Con’t…And believe me, so far this has whole thing has been a trip.  As I reflect on the words from “White Rabbit” I see that these words shimmer with great metaphorical parallels to my mid-life “waking up,” “self-healing” experience.  Here’s some of the words I connect with:

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you’re going to fall…
When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go…
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen’s “off with her head!
“
Remember what the dormouse said;
“feed YOUR HEAD.  Feed your head.…

Over the last six year of tunneling into my unconscious and desiring to connect with my sub-conscious in order to become conscious and experience inner healing, I have done a lot of falling.  I have had more moments than imaginable where what had seemed logical to me at one time, needed to go all sloppy dead.  And so I replaced it with true logic.  Then there have been realities I have had to face at times that have seared so deeply that it seemed my head floated off and and I tripped out into the delirium that pain inflicts.  In that place White Knights were talking backwards and chessboard men were telling me where to go.  And more times then I can count the Red Queen has been waving her hand in the air screaming, “Off with her head.”  And it only stood to reason, my head needed to come off.  I needed to replace it with reality.   Then finally I have needed to feed my head.  Feed it with truth.  The only way to true healing.  True awakening.  In the words of Jesus, “The truth shall set you free.”   True.  True.  But let me tell you friend, it’s going to hurt like hell first…

Grace Slick at Woodstock singing, White Rabbit

more about “Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit (Wo…“, posted with vodpod

So, where have we been going?  And why?  Backwards.   The only appropriate way to travel in order to get to where we’re going.  To share the more of me.  The unseen.  The unshown.  We’re almost there…

Love ya, Night,
Theresa Jane
-Had I not been four when she and others I idolized performed at Woodstock, just one hour from where I grew up, I would have been there.  Had I been anywhere over 15 I would have gone and worried about the cost afterwards.  And that wasn’t common for me, I may have partied hearty but I did my best to fly under the radar.   But this my friend would have been worth it.  I would have been there every day those groups flew in.  Through the sun, rain, lack of food, and bathroom facilities.  And, back in the day I would have loved every stoned, drunken, jamming moment of it all.  And when Janice Joplin stepped onto that stage and sang, “White Rabbit” I would have been riveted and sang every word right along with her.

PeERinG DoWn THe RaBBit HOle wITh GrACe SlIck WhIte rAbbIT Day 2 . . . November 18, 2009

Con’t…

Now I know that that song is about drugs. But walk with me.  If you’re like me you’ve seen that life has many strange ways and things it uses to prepare us.  To send us in another direction.  To guide us and help us to arrive on our distant shores.  Signs and wonders put there to assist us…   And the timing isn’t always important.  The moment is what’s important.  Keep living and the moments loop and link and direct.  That being the case that song served a meaningful purpose.  And if that be true it follows that when I went to Disney about six years ago I should run into Alice’s “White Rabbit.”  Right at the time that I was one step across the threshold of my mid-life experience.  At the beginning of my striving to really wake up, like in the Matrix Movie, which I had for the first time viewed just 4 1/2 months prior and was still living with the effects of it totally cracking my brain awake and not surprisingly, but not noted with much attention on my part at the time, was loaded with its white rabbit…

Prior to Disney I hadn’t given much thought to the “White Rabbit” song, largely due to turning from my days of Rock and Roll, drugs and drinking.   But the instant I saw that life sized, snow white rabbit there was a shutter in the time continuum and I was propelled backwards, to my days of Janice Joplin’s  “White Rabbit”.  Only to be slung shot right back to the present.  As my body burbled through the vast energies that had captured it, my mind free floated and peered through a watery purple haze.  Unbearably conscious of the fact that, “Oh my God.  Another white rabbit.  I’ve tumbled down a rabbit hole.  I’m my own Alice.   Things are going to get bizarre.”

As it turned out that was the only character that I had my picture taken with–been there three times since and not once have I seen it again– and once it was developed I backed it with tape and stuck it to my bathroom mirror where it’s been ever since.  As a constant reminder that I’ve tumbled deep in a rabbit hole and I better run to keep up so his white fur won’t disappear over the horizon leaving me in Wonderland.  But also assuring me that if I do keep up, just like Alice, I will emerge into the light.  Transformed.

To be continued…
Night, Love ya,
Theresa Jane
-who found that I got about 17-20 views from alphainventions so I was seen at any rate.  The proof is in the pudding on this one though, will my numbers go up consistently?  And will there be anyone making comments??  The jury is still out on this one.

PeERinG DoWn THe RaBBit HOle wITh GrACe SLicK WhITE rAbbIT dAy 1. . . November 18, 2009

The following is going to be my first in a segment of entries.  A continuation series.  Too long for one post.

Done a lot of thinking about this.  Drummed my fingers on my desk more than once contemplating it.  Began and scrapped a bunch of prior attempts.  What am I talking about?  The part of my life I only hint at.  You know, you’ve seen the bits trickle into my blog.  Where I mention appointments with my life coach, inner healing work, waking up, becoming conscious, and all those books psychology/spiritual books that are crammed among the chick lit and horror on my Shelfari shelf…–lots of words there I know.  After all this time I myself don’t know exactly how to label this whole thing.

I’ve gone back and forth on this note.  Should I share?  Yes, I should.  Then.  No.  No I shouldn’t.  Well today I decided.  Yes.  I’ll share.  Why?  Well, this journal is about me.  About my journey into the new me–well, really the me that’s always been there, it’s just that she/me/I was on the other side of the looking glass–My trip down the rabbit hole.  My going to ask Alice.  The trek to find me in the newest of terms.  Yes to become… a business woman.  But there is so much more then I put in my “about me.”  That was the tip, hinting at more.

And today begins the “more”.   Especially since I went and did it again, had another stop business day, as I had mentioned I might do yesterday, therefore it must bleed over into my blog making it business free.  The direction was spurred on by the fact that I began my day with an intense session with my life coach.  Making it the logical place to begin this post as well as begin to take you deeper into my rabbit hole.

It isn’t by mistake that my side bar, on my Blogger Blog and under About me on my WordPress blog reads as it does.  And, as a side note, why I didn’t come up with a name for my blog that played off from Alice in Wonderland I’ll never know.  Since I have a looooonnnggg history with good old Alice and white rabbits…

In my life I’ve taken many trips.  I’ve seen a lot of our country on them and then I’ve seen a lot of, well, not our country on others.  During those my eyes were bloodshot, squinting through smoke, and you might hear me say, as I exhaled, through small gasps, “Damn.  This is some good shit.”

Once upon a time I took these trips because, being a kid, I was trapped.  Couldn’t get out of the horrid home that I lived in, so I found other ways to trip on out.  Into other unseen lands where I followed many a psychedelic white rabbit…

Back then Rock and Roll was it for me.  Loved the stuff.  Loved the whole movement it represented.  Had I piled my records from the floor up they would have reached the top of my head and Jefferson Airplane was up there at the top.  Burned holes through their vinyl.  In my mind Grace Slick was one of the greatest female singers of her time.  And her song “White Rabbit” was my favorite.  I never knew why.  I just connected with it.  When that song came on I could be in a room full of people surging with booze and drugs and I would stop dead, as if to pay homage.  To listen and sing along till it was done.

I never could explain it before.  Defiantly not back in the day.  Then it was, “I love that fucking song.”  Now, as I rethink it, I think in some strange way I was forward seeing into my future.  Preparing myself.  Preparing to be ready to tumble down the deepest rabbit hole of my life.  To be ready and willing to go…

More tomorrow, Love ya,
Theresa Jane
-don’t worry we’re going somewhere.  It’s just that in order to get there we have to sit and drink some tea with the Mad Hatter and listen to his ramblings…