A near miss on overcoming worthlessness yesterday . . . December 16, 2009

After posting I’ve decided to add this story.  It happened yesterday.  Since I was on the topic of detecting and overcoming worthlessness I thought I really should begin to include stories regarding this matter.  That will show my struggle.  Show the difficulty I’m having healing a relationship with a child I have hurt and may assist you if you’re in the same boat…

Lie, lies, lying, lied. . . Continued from previous posts on lying . . . December 8, 2009

Con’t From these previous posts: “What’s that you say??  Total honesty??” and “Looooonnnnng history of lying. . .”

Lying is insidious.  
Someone that begins to lie for certain reasons, in specific areas over time can’t contain it.  Without noticing it slowly creeps around and sends off shoots like vines on the side of a house.  Left untended, they’ll cover the house and destroy it.  That was me.

My day, ho hum, but glowing memories. . . December 1, 2009

The day just finished nine minutes ago!  And I’m here reflecting.  This is where I break my day down and map it out for you in 550-650 words (hopefully ).  Today was mostly typical.  Worked on the business, went to my job.  Both went well.  Made headway on some of those picky icy areas that needed sorting out.  Went to John1′s to work on some things, got John2 on the speaker phone and for a couple hours we picked, poked, found solutions, and made some decisions.  So headway.  Perfect.

That’s my day from the black and white “entrepreneur business woman” end.  Not too exciting really.  Shrug.  Today what I think was worthy of ink to paper was this:

After work my eldest daughter whose name is Blessing, wasn’t feeling well at all.  I brought her some herbs, gave them to her with a glass of water, sat on the bed next to her, and rubbed her stomach for about 45 minutes.  Trying to sooth her past the pain and into sleep.  Her slender face was pale and winched with that drained look of exhaustion one has from dealing with a non-stop, crippling cramp that steals away even the ability to speak.

As I sat there in the silence of the soft, amber glow casting a small puddle of light into the room, all I could think was 19 years ago what I was now rubbing was called a “tummy”.  It was tiny and taunt and fit below my hand.   When she was sick I would scoop her up out of her crib, cradle her in the crook of my arm, and rub that tiny belly.  As she grew I eased her small body up from her twin bed onto me, sat on its edge, and rubbed her tummy.  Except now my hand didn’t cover nearly as much and her twin bed continuously seemed to shrink as her form covered more of it.

She’s 19 now and sleeps on a full size mattress.  Beautiful and grown.  Exuding the freshness and exuberance of a healthy adult, anxious to fully embrace the wonders that life holds for her as an adult.  I watch as she struggles to fully experience the weight of her independence.  Such a healthy thing.  A necessary thing.  Such an uncertain, wobbly time.  Wanting me at times and not at others.

But I’m proud to say that she’s doing a terrific job moving from her youth/teens on into her adulthood.  She’s sturdy, strong, and loving.  A hard worker and wise with her money.  For the last few months she’s been working her way towards her first apartment and if all goes according to plan, and it appears that is, she will be securing it and moving in in January.

So as I sat there in the quiet of the evening, on the well worn side of her bed reminiscing through time I couldn’t help but think…after January life is never going to be the same . . .

Night, love ya,
Theresa Jane
-It’s now 1:18 a.m. and I’m heading for bed.

Black Friday Funny story and Saturday I was a sleepy blob . . . November 29, 2009

Okay, so I missed posting yesterday.  The holiday has taken me over.

I went to bed on Thursday very sleepy but JUST laid there.  Unable to sleep.  The little digital numbers kept changing shape, one after another.  I have this problem.  Whenever I have to get up at like 3-5 a.m. to do something important I never can get to sleep…

FUNNY STORY

After two hours of sleep I rose and arrived at Walmart at 4:30 a.m, zeroed in on the most important item on the list, stationed myself in the correct line, relieved I was only like the sixth person back, and began wondering where I needed to go next.
While there a nice woman said to me, “Is this the line for X?”(don’t dare mention, my kids read my blog sometimes)
“Yes,” I said.
Desperate look on her face, “My daughter is in line but I don’t think she’ll make it before they’re gone.  That lady just called in the back to see if they had anymore.  I think I’ll give you my money to get one for me.”
My response: an almost chocking, singular laughs, the kind that bursts out in surprise and said, “Oh.”

When it came to my turn I didn’t even look at her, all I could think was, “What if I take her money and the people behind me riot or get really angry.  I can’t handle either of those.”  Remember I don’t always think too clearly shortly after waking and it’s worse before sunrise…

So I turned my back to her, processed the card, took my goods, and left.  Feeling a little bad.  I could have gotten it for her.  I have thought about it a few times and sort of wished I had…but then I think, what if I had…

On my way home I picked Caleb.  He had really wanted to go to the early morning shop but I feared for his life.  So then he asked if I’d get him on my way home… When we got back, made us breakfast, did a couple hours of work, and crashed on the couch at 10.  Slept till 4ish.  An hour and half later, I was sort of awake.  We ate, went to bring Dan and Grace over.  John2 showed up and for about an hour and half and we tried to get something to work on YouTube.

He left, I popped in the “Robot” movie I got that morning, and fell promptly to sleep.

TODAY:
I have been the blobbyist thing.  I did some work but not a lot, mostly reading research and clicking through hundreds of blog templates finding choices for John1 to pick from.  Watched a movie in the afternoon with the kids, I slept through it.   But I didn’t sleep through the lots of Sponge Bob, some of which were new to me, and the new iCarly in the evening…Now bed. 

Love ya, night,
Theresa Jane
-whose proud to say, has all her dishes done    and wondering why Christmas movies didn’t occur to me all day.  Nuts . . .

Playing hookie… 2010 and Pirate Radio . . . November 14, 2009

Today was beautiful.  I just couldn’t sit here.  So I left to do some mostly needed errands.  While out I thought, movie… Pirate Radio released today.  I’ve got to go.  Glanced at my watch, just barely enough time to get Zach from school and make it.

I know I always go to the dollar theater.  However there are moments when I go to the “regular theater”.  You know, where there’s the newest released movies that charges nine times more?  When I go here I typically just take Zach–whose free due to his wheel chair-thank you Carmike!– or Sarah–she pays for her own ticket.  I have a logic behind choosing full priced movies over waiting till their release at the dollar theater: when I take four children to the dollar movie, that’s $4, Zach is free here too.  BUT.  WAIT.  I’m not the type of mom who takes her kids to a movie and shakes her head no to popcorn and soda.  Come on this is the m..o..v..i..e..s.  This costs roughly $11.  Ending total $15.  Pretty good for taking out four of my kids.

Okay.  Now.  When I go to the “regular theater” I have ah la, popcorn bucket.  A one time purchase that is fillable for, drum roll- $1.  That’s right.  Totally huge bucket of warm, delicious popcorn for a buck.  K.  Add to that soda.  $4ish. Then the ticket. $9ish.  Total-$14.  Dollar cheaper than the dollar theater.  Soooo, I actually save money going to the full priced, recently released, don’t have to wait, and wait, and wait for said movie to go to el’cheapo theater. Perfect.

But guess what?  We got there too late.  They wouldn’t sell me a ticket.  I attempted to point out that the previews would have ended about 5 min. ago, I wouldn’t have missed much but, no go.  I guess we’re now required to watch previews!  Well were there.  And after what I went through to get us there…  Picture me zooming to get Zach. Picture wheel chair.  No wheelchair accessible vehicle.  No Dan who always handles this for me.  So just me to get that thing, which I’m thankful for, lifted in the back of my truck. Picture zooming up the highway to get there on time.  Now picture us leaving.  Right.  Wasn’t about to do that. We chose 2012.

When we left.  I innocently took note of the times for Pirate Radio.  Only 15 minutes till the next show.  We got into my truck.  Put key in ignition.  I reasoned… we’re here, this is the cheap time to go to a movie, $6, soda refill FREE, popcorn leftover… I said to Zach, “If we go to this movie you have to be willing to go to Saturday school tomorrow.”  For some bizarre reason the school gives kids the choice?!  And he was refusing to go.  Doesn’t care that he’s behind.  Doesn’t like school during the week, why would he go on the weekend.  Hard to argue really.  Well he agreed!!!  So there.  Taking Zach to another movie actually created a solution for me, his parent, who needed to get him to go, to go, without a war!  The angels in the heavens were singing.

So, out came the wheel chair and in we went to watch another terrific movie.  Except this one required my fast acting hand to zip in front of Zach’s eyes.  Goodness didn’t expect some of the scenes that came up.  Should have reviewed the movie more I guess.

One day, two fabulous theater movies.  Unusual.  But worth it.

Wish I could say that getting Dan, Cal, and Grace was as pleasant.  They were Friday grouchy for an hour plus: “Stop it Cal!  Knock it off Dan!  What’s your problem Grace…”  Rubbing my temples.  Trying to be cheery.  Heard myself harshly snap, “Okay, Dan that’s enough!”   Reel in my snappiness.  Turn their attention to a movie.  The drug of choice    Peace settled in, sleepiness took over.  They were alseep by  11.

Night, Love Ya,
Theresa Jane
-who wants you to know this post started out at like 1125 words and I kept at it forever till what it is now: 652 w/o the closing 

Tags,Tagul, and a cup of hot cocoa cake . . . November 12, 2009

Gasp!  Horror!! The “please excuse us while we change” sign that I had up to tell the world that I was working on my soon to be launched web site wasn’t up!  What happened?  Thought we checked that?  Well it’s fixed now.

Coldness is setting in so I bought a new blanket today.  At?  Where else Wal-mart.  It’s brilliant white.  I laundered it and when I opened the dryer it was like freshly falling Christmas snow.  I felt like a kid as I laughed, cupped my hands and scooped mountains of it from the lint catcher, gathered it from around the door, and chased it through the air.  Much funner than the real thing!  Too bad snow wasn’t like that.

Tags, located on side bars with random words scattered throughout.
Tags, the list of words that appear above my posts.
Tags, give search engines a way to find sites.

Well!  These seemingly boring, do nothing, I thought they were just there for search engines to use and wondered why they even needed to be on a site, do more than that.  Today I:
1) Learned: You can click on them to search the for information pertaining to the word on a web site/blog. Who knew?!
2) Put this together: They’re totally handy to scan when you’re checking out someone’s blog/web site. Besides reading a couple posts, scan the tags this will help you know if you’re interested in them because they tell you the topics they discuss.
3) Discovered: Tagul.com.  Tagul is very similar to Wordle but with distinct differences.  They’re designed to be used on blogs and web pages as a replacement of ordinary tag clouds. And each word/tag is “clickable”so visitors can use it for navigation.  Meaning… we just upgraded our eye candy to practical:  click the word and bam, you get a list of posts related to the word!  This is where I learned that the tags in side bars are clickable!  And, it gets better… this site allows you to customize the clouds into shapes such as: hearts, triangles…and multiple fonts can be used in one cloud.  TOOOOOOO, FUN~

The kids had Veterans Day off today.  Sarah and Grace went shopping.  Zach and Ben slept till probably the time they would have gotten off the bus had they gone to school, and Dan and Cal came with me.  I was second choice for Dan as his plans with a friend fell through.  We went to the grocery store on the way home because Dan, my gotta have milk kid remembered, “Mom, you need milk.”  Right!  While in said store what does Dan’s eyes land on??  A mini cake in the shape of a hot cocoa mug with marshmallows on top.  What is Dan’s favorite thing?  Marshmellows.  NEVER let him hold the bag when the fam is making Smores.  Well, his eyes were googling, and his breath gasping, his fingers stabbing glass, other hand was tapping Caleb’s shoulder to get his attention, never taking his eyes off the case.  Two faces turned up to look at me and in unison they said, you guessed it, “Oh mom, please!”  With such delight the Devil himself couldn’t have said no.  I walked out of that store, muttering to myself and making a mental note: keep those boys out of the bakery section from now on!  And creating excuses… Dan loves marshmallows, and they both love hot cocoa, I never buy such wild extravaganzas, why, I’m making a memory, and this will be our celebration cake for my deciding not to move.

Yummm!

Night, Love ya,
Theresa Jane,
-oh and that’s not all marshmallows, most is frosting.  And yeah it was as good as it looked!

NaNoWriMo, X-rays, and WordPress self-hosting . . . November 10, 2009

I’ve decided, calling a doctors office immediately after rolling out of bed isn’t the best time for me to make such calls.  I’m not terribly coherent.  I babble.  I explain myself wayyyyy too much.  I can’t even follow myself.  But somehow this morning I managed to schedule an appointment for Caleb.  He hurt his thumb last Thursday late in the day and throughout the weekend he kept complaining of pain.  Then there was the slight swelling and bruising…   Although I think he just stubbed it hard, since he wasn’t any paler than he already is, or writhing on the floor in agony, I wanted to make sure.  I didn’t want this to go much further and have it be an actual break.  You know, get a call from the school nurse, “Caleb’s in my office and he’s in a lot of pain…”  Take him to the doctor, now days later than it’s already been…find out the boys got a break!!!  I really felt it best to spare myself the embarrassment.  So although my gut was saying, sprain, we went.  And this picture of him and Dan was taken while we waited to be X-rayed.  That hand of his you see extended?  Going to catch the ball that Dan chucked at him.  That’s the one with the hurt thumb.  What’d you think?  And why they’d ever put a ball in that room is beyond me!  After getting our turn at the X-ray machine it was concluded: it’s just a sprain.  I think he was disappointed.  I think he wanted a cast like Grace.  And he was sooooo close!

Today John2 and I worked on the following:
–Tried to get a slice of Red Book and Cotton posted to the web site to give people the opportunity to read some before buying.  For some reason it’s not letting us, terrible awful things keep happening.  You don’t want to know!  We bailed.  For today.
–I bought my new theme to get set up on my own self-hosted WordPress blog today!!  Exciting.  I’ve only scanned I think 3,000 themes to finally pick one.  Actually I narrowed it to two.  Had a tough time deciding but I did today.  Have a little twist in my stomach hoping I made the right decision.  But everything is changeable right?  At least that’s what I keep telling myself.  After the purchase we began to put it onto the web host.  I’m currently waiting for GoDaddy to have the name pointing at my new blog.  But this is all just the beginning.  Have a ways to go on this sucker yet!!
–Had brief, but productive phone meeting with John1, John2, and myself about point one and other goodies to start adding here there and everywhere around the wondrous world of the web. 

Kateness.wordpress.com is a blog I’m now following.  I found her because she found me and gave me a view.  So, I viewed back.  I mean, it’s only polite!  At any rate she is participating in NaNoWriMo this month– short for National Novel Writing Month.  It runs Nov 1-30.  The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30–and she’s blogging about her daily adventures with this goal.  So far, so fun, and interesting.  Being a writer I think this NaNoWriMo is cool.  Since I seriously can’t participate this year, unless I decide to stop sleeping altogether I’ve decided to live vicariously through her.  I also thought you all ought to know that there are bunches and bunches of people right now drumming words into word processors in the effort to knock out the first draft of a novel!

Would have gotten more done today but had to shove off to work and of course there was the doctor appointment.
Night and Love ya,
Theresa Jane
-who is just now remembering, the alarm is set for 7 a.m.  Oh God… have to be at the school by 8 to watch a performance that Dan is in.   Being the not morning person that I am I have to question, “The boy is only in the choir, do I really need to go…”  I’m going to bed!  NOW!

Saturday, Sunday . . . November 8, 2009

Ok.  So where was I yesterday!!    Well,  good question.  Glad you asked.

Saturday, was a super day.  I spent it largely with my Sarah.  I don’t get to see a lot of her due to her schedule.  Wait!  I’m just realizing when I introduced her on the Halloween post I completely forgot to give a little bio.  Well, Sarah is my ballerina/dancer. (Picture taken Halloween night, need to get a better one)  She has loved to dance since she was teeny tiny.  She had books, and a video and she “practiced” all the time.  We moved so much, lived in the country a lot, and had so many other ones to handle that I wasn’t able to get her into dance till she was…  How old was she?  Have to think… 8, maybe 9.  When I put her in her first class the teacher was blown away at her skill and leaped her up several levels.  All that “practice” really paid off.  And in a real way.  What we want and strive for as people/humans we can create.  She was on point in no time and totally excited.   When she hit seventh grade she was excepted into the The Alabama School of Fine Arts after auditioning with 150 other girls from around the state.  Now dance is a part of her daily curriculum.  School for her starts at 8:00 ends at 4:30.  The days there are longer because the kids do their academics and their… their… oh nuts there’s a word for this annnddd it’s gone.  It’s used to represent what they’re there for: dance, art, math, science, drama, music.  The 4:30 time slot is for everyone but the dance department, is always there till 6:30-7:30-8 depending on upcoming performances.  Then the half hour drive home, homework, and a busy social life.  So I don’t see much of her.

Yesterday however we went to brunch and then shopping before and after a movie.  She needs a pair of shoes for homecoming dance.  Then to the Dollar Theater see: “My One and Only”.   Terrific movie.  We both loved it.  I was totally lost in the dream!  And I completely related to the woman in the movie.  Rent this movie! FUN!  Before we ended our time together we sat and talked for a long while outside her house. Wonderful.

Then I took Dan and Cal back with me to my place and we snuggled up together on the couch and watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua.  I wasn’t so sure what I was going to think of this movie.  I went through every single one of my On Demand Movie channels and every single listed movie in search of something else, anything else.  But I was out voted.  And them’s the rules ’round here.   Thankfully it was cute.  I liked it.  However, and this was the why behind no post yesterday.  I fell asleep right at the last probably 15-20 minutes.  When I woke I was too zonked.  I crawled into bed and told the boys, “It’s 11:20 you need to go to bed too.”  So lights went out.  And I slept till 9:30!

Sunday:
I have to admit that a lot of work didn’t get done today either. It’s been a laid back, sleepy day.  Dan took off to, you guessed it be with his friends.  Cal and I watched Fly Away Home then I worked a little, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, with Jim Carrey.  I fell asleep through most of The Grinch. :/

Had a real test to my mother’s patience today.  I let my kids use my laptop when they’re here.  Typically they have it on this: picture to left.  Well today Dan had it on his lap.  Then it switched to Caleb’s.  Well, twice, not once, twice it hit the floor.  Grrrrrrrr.  I started to get upset.  Just started.  And stopped, spoke as nicely as I could muster and on the second, took some deep breaths and made a new rule, “The laptop is to be on the “desk” at all times.  Not excuses.  No exceptions.”  I’ve really been working on not flipping out or getting angry and I’m finally getting there in major ways.  I amazed myself.  I mean, that was my lap top.   And I have to say I feel good about it.  I have nothing to regret and my son didn’t experience me slicing him into pieces and making him feel small over something that I myself could have done.

Night all, love ya,
Theresa Jane
-who is sleepy and going to read for a bit and then lights out!

A day in the life of, me, an emerging, entrepreneur, business woman, mom . . . November 5, 2009

Breakfast: English Muffin

Load of laundry.
Check bank balance.  Call bank.  Wait on hold.  Problem fixed.
Check email.
Burn a silly movie I made to DVD.  Check it on TV.  It works!

Check leads of information from those follow on Twitter.  Read.  Read.  Read.  Take notes.  Print info.
Write blog post.
Steamy hot shower.
Walmart:  “Why is my bill $31.00?  Jeepers Cats, $14 for two bags of grapes?  God, how much were they a pound… $2.39!  Why didn’t I pay attention??  That’s the last of my fresh grape juice for the year.
At computer:  Supposed to be able to download audio books for free from my local library.  I have the business card right there in front of me telling me that it’s possible.  I look everywhere.  Can’t’ find a single spot to hook up to this feature.  Someone tell me why I can’t find this?  Why isn’t it straight forward??  Why, even when I dig around I still can’t find it?  This is taking too long.  Got to do something else related to business.

This is my library Love my library.

Lunch: Homemade hot cocoa

Dig deeper into Shelfari, to really learn this site.  Decide: this is really an awesome site.  Discover there’s an area for authors to create a page for themselves and their books.  Look at what other authors have done.  Did you know that Stephen King has written 75 books and 7 under a psudo name!!  Astounding.  Scanned to find out how to create an author page for John1′s.  Can’t figure it out.  WHY???????  Look some more.  No go.  WHY????????

Write this blog post.

Work on a document I’ve been creating.
Look at clock, 3:45, want to get the kids from school.  More work.  4:30, still want to get kids from school.  No time really.  Have so much to do.  Plus need to finish getting info together for meeting tomorrow night and have to factor in a class at Apple store tomorrow as well.  5:15.  Pointless to get kids from school.

End result:  Didn’t have any time to see my kids today.  I miss them.  That’s the crapper about divorce.  You have to purposefully go to see your children.  No time.  No see.  It sucks.  They don’t just stream in the door, shouting, “Hey mom!” drop their back packs on the floor, give you a hug and kiss, and tear off for the kitchen in search of a snack.  Instead your home echos hollow without their youthful voices scenting the air with it’s delicate fragrance. The silence made my heart ache and I drifted back to yesterday.  When I was playing around with Caleb.  We were being silly.  Laughing and teasing.  With Christmas coming I spontaneously asked him “What is the one thing you wish you could have?”  Without adding “for Christmas”,   Before I spoke those words I thought, he’d say, “to go to Disney for a week” or “to have my own laptop”.  However the moment the words left my lips I knew.   My breathing constricted.  The clock stopped ticking.  But it was too late to pull the question back.  If I could have inhaled them right back into my mouth, sucked them out of existence, I would have.  To avoid the, in our faces pain that would steal our joy and stab at his little heart and mine.  Instead when I inhaled my next breath the words that softly left his mouth, devoid of giggles were, “To have you and daddy together again.”  Sullen sadness filled the space.  I drew him to me.  We hugged each other into a deep embrace and held ourselves there.  Tears pooled in my eyes as I stroked his soft hair, “I wish that was the case too honey.  I wish we all lived together.  Oh how I wish.  But that just can’t be and it totally stinks.  It makes me sad too.”  A few minutes passed, we separated, and went on just a little less silly, a little less giggly.

Dinner: Mashed potatoes with white gravy made from the broth of the chicken thighs I cooked, and bread with butter: comfort food.

Eat and listen to Duma Key by Stephen King.
Talk to John2 for a while.
Finally put load of laundry into dryer.
Brush teeth.  Change out of day clothes into night clothes.
Broke a nail.  Crap.  Well there’s a pattern on my right hand now, every other nail is short.
Think about doing dishes.
Try to eject DVD I burned earlier from inside Mac.  Won’t eject.  Look up on internet what to do.  Do all three steps.  Great.  It’s stuck.  So what now?  Don’t want to take in to genius bar. . .  Light bulb goes on.  I took it out earlier and viewed it on my TV . . .
Work on a new blog post that came to me.  Edit it.
Come over and edit this blog post.
Result: three blog posts today.  That’s a record

Night, Love ya,
Theresa Jane
-who doesn’t think she’s going to post all three posts today.  I’m saving at least one for another day.  Want to go over it again.

Starting a buisness is like 52 Pick Up . . . November 4, 2009

Growing up I had 32 cousins swarming around and we were often together.  I was toward the tail end.  Next to last in the middle age group.  Two years younger than the one in line above me.  The middle group was, on some level, able to merge in with the older cousins depending on what everyone was doing.  I would trail behind and attempt to be allowed in too.  One thing that the “older” cousins did was play games.  Card games like Trump. Board games like Clue.  Being a good bit younger I was pretty much clueless when it came Clue.  I had to tease like the dickens to be allowed to play and then I lost every time.  Much to the sheer pleasure of the gloating older cousin who won every time.  Things for me weren’t much different with card games.   Unless we were talking Crazy 8′s, Old Maid…  But I yearned to learn.

One day when I was 8ish, without my asking, an older cousin asked me, “Do you wanna to learn to play a new card game?”
Totally astonished I said, “Yeah. Sure.”
He said, “Okay, so if I teach you, you’ll follow the rules?”
Puzzled, but without hesitating I eagerly agreed, “Yes.”
“You swear?” he pressed.
“Yes.  Swear,” I said shaking my head vigorously and holding up my hand.
“Okay then,” he said as he picked up the card deck, bent them between his fingers and thumb and said, “The name of this game is 52 Pick Up.  And this is how you play.”  He bent the cards nearly in half and sent them streaming through the air.  The cards showered pell mell all over the floor.
I stared down at them bewildered.
Through his laughter he said, “Now, you pick them up.”
My cheeks burned red and I worked my fists into tight balls.   I didn’t move.  “Pick ‘em up.  You said you would follow the rules.”
“No.”  I said.  But he jeered me and threatened to tell.  Then he did.  I picked up the cards, slapped the deck on the table in front him, called him, “Jerk,” and left the room.

Starting a new business is like 52 Pick Up.  You start out with a new deck of cards called your business.  It seems nice and tight and tidy.  Then you start to “play” and the cards fly everywhere.  All that you imagined you were going to do isn’t nearly all you need to do.

When I began this business with John, we started out working together every day.  We filmed things and learned how to edit them.  Very quickly we knew that there were a myriad of other things that we needed to do and learn if we were going to market in the 21st century of social media marketing.  And we both couldn’t learn every thing at the same time.  So now he largely films and edits.  I come along and film some.  After he’s edited the life into something I come in, view, and critic.  John2 is joining us now too.  I delve deeply into the marketing end.  I’m becoming the computer, internet techy that’s learning to speaks it’s foreign language.  There’s “cards” everywhere, and I’m bewildered.  But my cheeks aren’t burning.  I think it’s cool.  I’m happily following the rules and learning this “card game” without coercion–okay, maybe not without some suppressed screaming and streams of vulgarity resembling a seasoned sailor at times . . .

Night all, Love ya,
Theresa Jane
-who now understands Clue and once could even win some hands of Trump
-taking strength in knowing that I just need to pick up one card at a time